Han Solo vs. Indiana Jones

Han Solo
Winner Indiana Jones
45% / 14 votes
55% / 17 votes

- Full name - Han Solo

- a roguish spice smuggler who, through a twist of fate, becomes involved in the Rebel Alliance

- "I know"

- "Never tell me the odds"

- his ride - the millenium falcon

- weapon - a blaster

- helped destroy two death stars (yes, 2), got some nookie off a princess, befriended a jedi knight, and rolled with his partner in crime Chewbacca

- he and chewbacca made the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs...just saying.

- shot Greedo under the table, then paid the bartender for 'the mess', as he put it

- Uh, we had a slight sourcing malfunction, but…uh, everything's perfectly fine now. We're fine. We're all fine here now. How are you?

- Henry "Indiana" Walton Jones, Jr., Ph.D.

- archaeologist/treasure hunter

- "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?"

- trademark bullwhip, fedora, leather jacket, holster with whip, khaki shirt

- fights nazis a lot, found the Ark of the covenant, drank from the Holy Grail (killed some more Nazis), found a temple of doom and rescued children in slavery and destroyed a destructive cult, and will soon chase the Crystal Skull

- "Nazis. I hate these guys"

- "you want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do (Raiders of the Lost Ark)"

- "don't call me junior"

- has an AWESOME theme song

- XvsY has had an indiana jones hat and used to wear it when young. that's all.

Contest Details

Created by XVSY on April 10, 2008
  • Voting ended May 01, 2012
  • Main Staged on April 10, 2008
  • Featured on March 27, 2012
  • Guest voting is allowed
  • 31 votes so far

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Peanut Gallery

buttholio 4/10/08 3:01 PM

holy crap why would you do a contest like this...I'M COMPLETELY STUMPED! or since i'm a buttholio - clogged up. i need to think on this one today...GREAT VOTE

GayCowboy voted Y 4/10/08 3:18 PM

An impossible choice today. Two of the greatest ever. I don't like this contest because i have to vote against one of them. I guess i have to go with Indy for a few reasons. 1. He's the lead, and has the most screen time. 2. The leather jacket and hat is better than the vest. 3. Star Wars is permanently marred for me now (thanks Lucas). Although he managed to avoid the prequels, Han now shoots second in the cantina scene with greedo. 4. He kills Nazis.

bigslizz voted X 4/10/08 3:29 PM

You Gay-Buttholes are thinking too hard! Han Solo wasn't the top dog in Star Wars, yet he was the whole F-ing show! Plus Han Solo wasn't in the Temple of Doom. BOOOOOOOOO!

GayCowboy voted Y 4/10/08 3:59 PM

im sorry i thought too hard. ill try to be more like you.

XVSY 4/10/08 4:03 PM

i concur with you GayCowboy...i don't know why i did this contest. Well, i know why, because i watched an interview with harrison ford and started thinking about these two characters. i know, it's an unfair vote cause you have to vote against one...but do what the slizz says - don't think while hard...i mean, too hard.

buttholio 4/10/08 4:08 PM

bigslizz can't think too hard cause his head would pop. or i should say his ass would pop, cause that's where his head is

jackpot321 voted X 4/10/08 4:35 PM

I gotta go with the Han job on this one. Indy was badazz and sarcastic as all get out, but Solo was the defining man in my life for my formative years. Yes, I know how gay that sounded.

friscokid voted Y 4/10/08 4:37 PM

I gotta go with indy, I don't totally know why, i think his everyman, sarcastic, gets beat up but keeps on going attitude.

poylaDdestroya voted X 4/10/08 4:50 PM

HAN! Indi is cool and all but like slizz says, he wasn’t even the lead and he stole the show. If he didn't kick ass as Han Solo he never would have become indi. Plus what other character can walk around with a giant rastafarian big foot and not look dumb?

poylaDdestroya voted X 4/10/08 4:51 PM

Oh yeah and two words, lazer blasters!

Hal5000 4/10/08 5:20 PM

GayCowboy just likes Indiana Jones's outfit better.

GayCowboy voted Y 4/10/08 5:20 PM

who needs laser blasters: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Epw-LSC3L2U

GayCowboy voted Y 4/10/08 5:21 PM

yes, i said it. leather jacket and hat beats the vest!

friscokid voted Y 4/10/08 5:30 PM

Lets Go DEVILS

poylaDdestroya voted X 4/10/08 5:32 PM

Devils got spanked last night. Oh yeah and 8 other times this season by the Rangers. But anyway, Indi is a good shot but with a lazer blaster, you don't have to be!

GayCowboy voted Y 4/10/08 5:34 PM

"Indi is a good shot but with a lazer blaster, you don't have to be!" My thoughts exactly.

nybble voted X 4/10/08 5:36 PM

Dudes. This one's no contest. Han Solo. He made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. I doubt Indiana could do it better.

GayCowboy voted Y 4/10/08 5:39 PM

A PARSEC IS A MEASURE OF SPACE NOT TIME! Man, Han solo doesnt even know how fast his own ship goes!

friscokid voted Y 4/10/08 5:40 PM

lets not forget the whip, what is more elegant and versatile than the whip, heck it can move from adventure in the temple of doom, right into adventure in the bed room. (yes that even rhymes yo)

XVSY 4/10/08 5:42 PM

both of these guys adventures, epic. You know what's odd too, neither of them ever went to the bathroom. that's pretty amazing.

Hal5000 4/10/08 5:42 PM

frisco is down with the sound.

Hal5000 4/10/08 5:51 PM

Both of these characters are examples of what you will never achieve as a species. You will never, as a civilization,make it into space and you will never fully understand your past. Particularly when you keep addressing ancient supernatural stories but that is a different challenge.Humans..... so lame.

buttholio 4/10/08 6:03 PM

who votes that Hal is a bigtime pile of douchebaggery ?

Hal5000 4/10/08 6:09 PM

If that's not the asshole calling the asshole an asshole I don't know what is.

rt131975 voted X 4/10/08 6:14 PM

This comes down to one thing thing...Princess leia in a bikini vs. Marian? Han wins by a landside folks.

XVSY 4/10/08 6:17 PM

fantastic point rt131975 and welcome to the peanut gallery!

couture hippie voted Y 4/10/08 7:53 PM

the bikini thing is a solid point. but overall. indy is swift, a smarty tarty historian and super sexy with that whip. i mean, really? who else could beat bunches on nazi's. not han solo. secret lives are chillen

Hal5000 4/10/08 7:53 PM

If they were your porno stars they would be Hand Solo and Indiana Johnson. (and the legend of the g spot)

poylaDdestroya voted X 4/10/08 7:55 PM

Hippie, Indi couldn’t fly a space ship. He almost killed Darth Vader! Nobody almost kills Darth Vader!

The Guru voted Y 4/10/08 8:08 PM

Beyond the amazing movies and cast that Indiana Jones was able to bring us (and still bringing us mind you), I think it is safe to say we have all been guilty of grabbing our jump rope that has one end tore off, our dads safari hat and running around our respected neighborhoods humming the Indiana Jones song while "whipping" everything in sight. For this reason, Indi gets my vote. Without him, a few summers would have been quite boring.

blogenthau voted X 4/10/08 9:08 PM

it's all about the sidekick. you gotta factor in chewy.

XVSY 4/10/08 9:36 PM

indy has shortround, and shia labooooof in the next one.

Greybeard voted Y 4/10/08 9:46 PM

My loin ache for the dust of history. My whip is at my side and self lubricated. My hat has been filled with many fluids but now houses my skull. My scrotum is filled with sand that comes very close to the weight of a golden statue. The ancient invention made of stone and veins has a very precise weighing device still in proper working order oddly enough, so I must go now. A gigantic ball of dung is fast approaching.

rt131975 voted X 4/10/08 10:02 PM

as adorable as asian people are....short round would get his ass round house kicked by chewy. GGGNNNNRRRWWRRRRRRRLLLLLL

Hal5000 4/11/08 3:58 AM

last bitches

XVSY 4/11/08 4:02 AM

totally lame...but i couldn't vote on this one! PLEASE NOTE.....this particular vote will be REPEATED!!!

friscokid voted Y 4/11/08 4:04 AM

A huge come back victory.... In true indiana jones style.... Yes Sir

GayCowboy voted Y 4/11/08 4:48 AM

totally! Han may be known for the come out of nowhere surprise save, but no one, and i mean no one, comes from behind for the unlikely victory like Indy.

Hal5000 4/11/08 5:34 AM

*makes a squealing sound portraying humans acting out an indi scene*

jackpot321 voted X 4/11/08 6:19 PM

han would shoot indy with a wookie fart

Vlad Machismo 4/11/08 8:35 PM

A bit late on this one, but Han would have won easily if George Lucas could have left his movies alone and not made Guido fire first- he instantly turned Han into a reactive pussy. The exact opposite of my masculinity.

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